*makes like he's thinking about it* I don't know, Princess. It's my sworn duty to serve your father, not you. What kind of servant would I be if I kept things from him?
*beams at her like there's no tomorrow to beam during and so he has to get all the beaming he could possibly do all done in one night*
I will if you like. *smiles less intensely* And what was so important that it had the beautiful Lady Lúthien up and out of her bed thinking so late at night?
Mmm... I have enough songs for now, I think. *grins*
Oh, not much. I had dinner with Findekánogon, a Noldorin I met a while back, and our conversation just filled me with all sorts of interesting ideas. You know, war and peace and freedom and slavery and ignorance and strength. I needed to go for a walk to sort it all out.
Well, I was walking along, and I ran into this guy I've never seen before. Only he swore he knew me. He kept calling me... Tinúviel, I think. Strange, isn't it? He must have been someone from one of Daddy's public events, but still. He seemed so familiar. Hmm. *shrugs*
*quickly* No no no no NO! Not me! Never heard of the guy! Must be some outsider.
You should be more careful, Lúthien. Especially with strangers. For all you know that guy could have been a rouge or vagabond who was just out to kidnap you for the ransom. You shouldn't talk to strange men named Beren ever.
*is in the middle of briefing some of his army of scribes*
That's right. Chapters nineteen and twenty-one both, gone. Rubbed out. Finito. And if I find even ONE intact copy in the libraries... You. Sleep. Fishes. Got it?
*shoos them out*
Ah, good morning, Saer...erm...Eö...uh...minstrel. You were saying? Were you saying?
*bursts out laughing* Oh, that's a good one, Mablung. You've been reading chapter nineteen again, haven't you? WHERE DID YOU FIND A COPY OF CHAPTER NINETEEN?
*sighs* I wish I was joking. Oh, Eru, you have no idea how much I wish I were joking. Sir. But she said she was walking in the woods and a stranger calling himself 'Camlost' came up to her and was calling her 'Tinúviel' and claiming to know her. Luckily she doesn't seem to suspect anything, but I thought it best you know. You Know How He Is with the trickery and the generally pure evil.
We shall collect him and imprison him, of course. But then I would like to stick toothpicks in his navel and feed him his own testicles, I should think. And then, after I have enough recordings of his screams to frighten away suitors for all eternity, only then will we kill him.
...I was walking home from composing a lovely ballad on the banks of the Esgalduin and saw her walking back from the woods herself. *proudly* I thought it wrong for her to be walking alone so late at night so I escorted her away from the filthy humans home. I wasn't stalking her, nope, not one bit!
*pulls out the really slick interrogation skills* And "escorted her home" wouldn't happen to be code for "inserted my wee-wee into her hoo-hoo", would it?
*he only wishes* *looks scandalised!* Sir! I can't believe you would suggest such a thing! Lúthien I would never. Ask the guards if you don't believe me, Sir. I led her to the palace door and left her in their care. Much to my frustration.
*holds up a hand* Now, now, don't be offended. Because I can see right through you, you little twerp. It's just that the last time I heard two guards gossiping about taking a woman home, there was some sort of vulgar ball-and-base sport metaphor at play. And also, you're male and not me. It's an understandable concern.
*nods* Of course, my lord, I understand completely. You only have your daughter's best interest at heart. I would question me too if I were you.
*puffs up a bit* But know, Sir, that you can always trust your daughter into my care. I want only to look after Lúthien while she's naked. No harm will come to her with me but it can't be helped if she accidentally tears all her clothes off.
*is temporarily amused by all the obsequious fawning, at least*
*pensively and not a little skeptically* Hmm. *turns his attention to some more 'revisions' on his desk*
Oh, and Daeron? *looks at you keenly for a moment* There are some curious rumors going around about alleged illegitimate children of mine. You wouldn't happen to know who allegedly started those rumors, would you? Allegedly?
*chokes for a second* What? Allegations? I'm just a simple minstrel, my lord. No one tells me anything. Anything! Illegitimate children, you say? Who would ever say such a horrible thing!? Everyone knows of the great love you have for a wife. Great love. This is shocking! *bREatHs*
*clears his throat* But more importantly, it's certainly not anyone's business what I do behind closed doors. And most importantly, I'm never admitting to anything. ANYTHING.
Very well. *breezily* Thank you very much for your report. I will not forget your loyalty for at least eight minutes. You may go now and fetch my slippers.
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