From: loremaster	Date: 01/20/2007 20:09:42

*opens his door first thing in the morning to find the decaying ass-end of a deer*

...*promptly loses his breakfast*

	From: aromez	Date: 01/20/2007 20:11:54

*one too many wimpy ballads on the radio first thing in the morning makes Oromë angry*

	From: loremaster	Date: 01/20/2007 20:13:31

*can't help but wonder who got the other end*

	From: aromez	Date: 01/20/2007 20:15:45

*:D!*

	From: tuivana	Date: 01/20/2007 21:50:36

*boots up awakens as you come inside*

Please be sure to get all the blood off this time, dear. *inserts a pause of an appropriate length for a subject change* Shall we make a baby today, Oromë?

	From: aromez	Date: 01/21/2007 07:30:33

*begins to remove his blood-splattered boots and clothes*

*washes his face and hands and then starts picking bits of dried blood out of his beard*

Baby, baby, baby. What do you want with a baby, Vána? They can't hunt or kill or fight or clean a knife. *considerately* They can't even process megaramhertzthings. Why do you want a baby?

	From: tuivana	Date: 01/21/2007 10:40:22

You're being very silly. *small smile* Babies grow up to be adults like you and me. And our babies would be very likely to hunt (ew) and have excellent capacity for memories and so on. There are many genetic and environmental influences to consider.

*stands behind you and slips her arms around you*

	From: aromez	Date: 01/21/2007 13:54:57

Well, when you touch me put it like that, I guess I can maybe see your point. A little. From the right angle. After a few drinks.




But I'm not taking care of it.

	From: tuivana	Date: 01/21/2007 17:04:35

Good. *kisses the back of your neck* And just think...it's something of our very own to mold and shape in our images! Like Eru's children. Or Aulë's dwarves.

*gives you a Look* I'd never let you take care of it. *pokes you lightly* And you mustn't hunt it, either, when it's big enough to run around. I'd be very upset.

	From: aromez	Date: 01/21/2007 17:08:30

Mmm. With any luck it will be taller than Aulë's dwarves. When it grows up, that is. It would be freakish if it was taller than the dwarves as a baby.


...I get to hunt it if it turns out to be freakish or cries too much, right?

	From: tuivana	Date: 01/21/2007 17:13:30

Of course it will be taller. We're both tall, aren't we? *patiently* That's how it usually works. Children inherit genes from their parents. Often, they even look like their parents! Isn't that interesting?

And NO, you may not hunt our baby if it cries too much. Or if it smells strange or bad. Or if it doesn't know how to fetch beer. Or for any other reason.

	From: aromez	Date: 01/21/2007 17:16:02

I... I'm not really seeing the point of a baby, Vána. It doesn't sound like any fun at all. Can't even fetch beer.

	From: tuivana	Date: 01/21/2007 17:21:27

*sits at her desk and runs a search for "books for reluctant fathers"*

*skims through some of the results*

Here's one..."when your son calls you 'Daddy' and you see the light of admiration shining in his eyes..." no, that's not helpful... "when you feel the tugging of your heartstrings on your daughter's wedding day..." *considers*

*looks up at you* See? They're sweet and you can give them away when they get older.

	From: aromez	Date: 01/21/2007 17:25:00

*shrugs*

*totally apathetic* I guess if you really want to. It can't hurt. One more hunter to make Yavanna cry.

*considers for a moment* Yeah. Okay. Take your clothes off.

	From: tuivana	Date: 01/21/2007 17:28:30

*strips very quickly and cheerfully*

Okay. I'm ready!

	From: aromez	Date: 01/21/2007 17:31:08

Excellent! *somewhat eagerly flops down on the bed* Get to it, then! Uh... darling? :)

	From: tuivana	Date: 01/21/2007 17:37:45

*climbs on top* It's very convenient that you're already naked. *thinks* You raging inferno of sex, you.

*gropes!*

	From: aromez	Date: 01/21/2007 17:41:14

Just waiting for you to say the word, my steamy meat goddess. *hey, he's a hunter. meat-goddess is a pretty damn fine compliment*

*totally doesn't do foreplay, btw, it's just not a manly sort of thing that manly sort of hunters do* *it would be kind of like petting the deer before shooting it in the heart* *weird*

	From: tuivana	Date: 01/21/2007 17:49:55

*is very pleased that you're so plug-and-play* Oooh. You always have the proper drivers available, Oromë. My god of weapon-y...manly...grr.

*must gather more information about this strange concept of 'foreplay' before deciding it's something she should want and nag you about*

*men like their wives to be assertive, right?*

	From: aromez	Date: 01/21/2007 17:53:56

*well then, plugs and plays*

Yeah, baby Tiger, ride that thing, YEAH!

*doesn't like assertiveness or nagging, but doesn't really mind them either* *because he rarely listens* *that's what breasts are for, right, eru?*

	From: tuivana	Date: 01/21/2007 18:01:28

*bounces energetically*

*runs various pleasing subroutines such as Tonsil Hockey, Nipple Lick, and Extreme Fondle*

AhhhhHHHH! Shoot me! Shoot me with your big gun!

	From: aromez	Date: 01/21/2007 18:05:16

FIRE IN THE HOLE!!! *shoots away* *figuratively, of course* *real guns probably wouldn't be good for the baby*

*gasps for air that he doesn't really need just because he imagines it probably looks pretty darn hardcore*

	From: tuivana	Date: 01/21/2007 18:20:05

*throws her head back and gasps becausethat'swhatthegirlsinthemoviesdo*

*leans down to cuddle in close to you, spent. sort of.* Oh, Oromë. You are such a satisfying and enthusiastic sex partner.

	From: aromez	Date: 01/21/2007 18:24:57

*sort of slaps her ass* You too, babe.






...

*gives it about five minutes* Well, that meat's not gonna cook itself. And I'm sure Yavanna will be here soon! *jumps up and dresses*

	From: tuivana	Date: 01/21/2007 18:34:13

*puts her clothes on as well*

*happily* I'll start up the grill! *presses a button on a strangely-shaped remote control to do so* *beams!*

	From: aromez	Date: 01/21/2007 18:38:56

*kisses her cheek* You're a doll, Vána, an absolute doll.

	From: tuivana	Date: 01/21/2007 18:49:09

*thinks of her most recent breakthroughs in humanoid robotics*

*rather thinks a sweeter compliment has never been uttered*

*♥!*