From: tuivana	Date: 02/04/2007 16:59:16

*presses a button on a remote that causes a can of beer to run down a chute and appear near your hand*

*in confusion* Kid? What kid, Oromë?

	From: aromez	Date: 02/04/2007 19:46:48

*pops the can open*

You know, the kid. *waves his hand around in the air* The one you were talking about having last week... or the week before... or whenever. You said it could hunt when it was big enough. Is it big enough yet?

	From: tuivana	Date: 02/04/2007 23:24:50

Oh. *seems somewhat disappointed* I haven't actually given birth yet, husband. Or conceived.

*pensively* Are you quite certain we've been going about things correctly? That might be the problem.

	From: aromez	Date: 02/04/2007 23:29:11

*tilts his head back to look at her* Huh? I don't know. You're the one with all the book-smarts, Vána. I'm just here to keep you safe from all Yavanna's evil wild animals. Do you think we did something wrong?

	From: tuivana	Date: 02/04/2007 23:33:42

*blinks* Evil? Can't you talk to them about that, Oromë?

*gravitates toward her desk and pulls up a description of the general process* No...we did that...we definitely did that... *frustrated* I don't understand it. Perhaps there's something wrong with your circuitry? Erm...physiology?

	From: aromez	Date: 02/04/2007 23:35:42

You don't talk to animals, babe, you kill them. K-I-L-L. Surely that's in your books somewhere.

*sits up with shock!* Nothing wrong here, sweetheart. Maybe your tubes are all messed up. Tied or whatsit. ...Are you sure we did it right?

	From: tuivana	Date: 02/04/2007 23:40:24

*frowns* Well, you have said as much twenty-seven thousand, four hundred thirty-six times. But you can talk to them, and, well...it seems like it might be interesting?

*nods firmly* Steps six through eight are clearly the important ones. And our procedures as far as that are perfectly correct. *rather sadly* I suppose there could be something wrong with me...

	From: aromez	Date: 02/04/2007 23:55:42

Huan is interesting to talk to. I don't know about the rest. I could talk to them. Before I kill them. Get a good perspective.

Hmm. *frowns* Ask Eru?

	From: tuivana	Date: 02/05/2007 00:00:12

You probably should, if only to explain to them why it is you're killing them. *vaguely chiding* All life is sacred, after all.

*sighs* You know how Father gets when we interrupt his sleep. *resolutely* No, I think we'll just have to try harder. Or take fertility drugs? *cheerfully* Wouldn't five or six fat little babies crawling about be just wonderful??

	From: aromez	Date: 02/05/2007 00:04:32

*nods* Right, right, oooookay. I'll talk to the water fowl tomorrow. *looks at you suspiciously* You want to come along to see what they say, don't you?

... *just. stares.*

*clears his throat* Vána, maybe we should re-think this baby thing, hmm? If all life is sacred, do we really have the right to make it? Remember how mad Dad got about the Dwarves and all. Can we even have babies?

	From: tuivana	Date: 02/05/2007 00:07:54

*looks highly offended* Well, someone ought to catalog their remarks on the subject!

Can we even have babies?

*bites her lip* I really don't know. But that's all part of the experiment, don't you see? Surely Father couldn't be upset about any resulting offspring if he created us capable of conceiving and bearing children, could he?

	From: aromez	Date: 02/05/2007 00:10:33

Fine. You can come. But don't get mad if you end up covered in blood!

don't you see?

*doesn't really* *but...* Well. I guess so. We can try again. Or harder. Or something different. BUT NOT FIVE OR SIX.

	From: tuivana	Date: 02/05/2007 00:14:37

*her eyes lighting up* That's an idea. We can try the sexual intercourse covered in blood! Perhaps that will satisfy the proper animalistic requirements.

Four?

	From: aromez	Date: 02/05/2007 00:17:32

*doesn't have a problem with that at all* Okay! After we catalogue the whatsit tomorrow and kill them. KiLl tHEm aLL.

ONE.

	From: tuivana	Date: 02/05/2007 00:20:12

*had an idea you wouldn't, oddly enough* *wags a finger at you* Kill them kindly.

Three. That's my final offer.

	From: aromez	Date: 02/05/2007 00:24:18

*sulks* You're just like your sister!

Fine. But I'm going to get Aulë to build them a soundproof room. That's the end of that!

	From: tuivana	Date: 02/05/2007 00:29:32

Oh come now. Did I say "kill them never"?

*gets a glazed look in her eye* Ooooh yes. And I'll wire everything with sensors that can respond to them and communicate their needs to me.

	From: aromez	Date: 02/05/2007 00:32:47

*smiles* No. And that's why I like you best.

Er, yeah, sure. Whatever you like, Vána, whatever you like. *finishes off his beer* Can you press that button thingy again?

	From: tuivana	Date: 02/05/2007 00:35:40

*kisses you heartily* You're the best husband, Oromë.

*futilely shows you the remote once again* This button? The big red one that says "HERE BEER"? *...* *presses the button for you*

	From: aromez	Date: 02/05/2007 00:39:14

*squeezes you in a little hug* *gently, not like the hug he uses to crush bear-insides*

*blankly* That's swell, Vána. I've got it now. *by 'it', of course, he means the beer* *not the concept. never the concept*

	From: tuivana	Date: 02/05/2007 00:42:42

*pats* I'm sure you do, darling. I'm sure you do.

*finds his ineptness sort of cuddly, anyway*