From: yavannapalurien	Date: 02/13/2007 14:01:13
	{voice message}

Aulë, it's Yavanna, and it's 3.30am and you're still not home. Call me when you get this. Which will, uh, hopefully be before Oromë exterminates most of the animal population of Órë.

	From: yavannapalurien	Date: 02/13/2007 14:02:34
	{voice message #2}

Aulë. It's Yavanna and it's 9.15pm and you're still not home and the vegetable lasagna's burnt and you are sleeping on the couch tonight. Just so you know.

	From: yavannapalurien	Date: 02/13/2007 14:03:50
	{voice message #3}

AULE! IT'S YOUR WIFE AND IT'S 5.25PM AND WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU? IT'S A FUCKING BLOODBATH AND YOU'RE FUCKING WORKING AGAIN.

	From: yavannapalurien	Date: 02/13/2007 14:06:43
	{voice message #4}

	From: (Anonymous)	Date: 02/13/2007 14:12:29
	{voice message #5}

Good afternoon, MISTER LAUË MAHAH! You have been selected to win a five-day, all-expenses-paid trip to sunny Harad! Please call 1-800-BIG-SCAM to contact your friends at Home Publications Weekly and claim your prize! Have a nice day! This is a recording!

	From: tuivana	Date: 02/13/2007 14:16:25
	{voice message #6}

Aulë! It's Vána. You have GOT to see the new transistor I invented. Well, you can't really see it, because I shrank it by 23 percent! Remember that old joke about p-n recombination? Call me, okay? Bye!

	From: a3ulez	Date: 02/13/2007 14:18:56

*dithers between calling his wife and calling you*

*figures you're less likely to shout at him*

*picks up the phone and dials your number while foraging for Cheetos*

	From: tuivana	Date: 02/13/2007 14:25:24

Hello? Aulë? You got my message, great. You should come over whenever the lab can spare you and I'll show you everything. I wanted to ask you about that model you gave to the MoMAA, too. It's amazing.

	From: a3ulez	Date: 02/13/2007 14:30:20

*chuckles* Thanks ever so much. I think it's a bit of a relic from another age now but it was quite cutting edge at the time. I was proud of it, anyway. Yavanna wasn't so impressed but there you have it.

	From: tuivana	Date: 02/13/2007 14:33:45

Don't be silly. I imagine the mortals only find it more impressive these days now that there's nothing of the sort tramping about and nuking Gondolin and such.

*wonders if her eyeroll audibly transmits across the phone lines* *will definitely work on enabling those sorts of special features* Yavanna is never impressed with anything that isn't green.

	From: a3ulez	Date: 02/13/2007 14:40:59

*a little worriedly* I think she's not impressed with me right now. You know how time flies when you're working? Well, I think about four days just passed there and I didn't realise and I didn't go home and, well, I think I have a lot of making up to do.

*pauses*

*nostalgically* But that fire-drake was pretty great, huh?

	From: tuivana	Date: 02/13/2007 14:48:49

Oh, dear. *sympathetically* Would you like some fake flowers to give her? I can dig something up from my flowery-er days. Most people can never tell the difference from the real ones but Yavanna might appreciate it.

The fire-drake really is something else. I was so excited when I saw it that I had to catalog its full measurements and run a structural analysis of the whole thing. *laughs* I've half a mind to wire something like up to walk around and swish its tail back and forth. Like I meant to do with my baby.

	From: a3ulez	Date: 02/13/2007 15:02:03

Oh, that sounds promising. I wonder if one could create fake flowers capable of photosynthesis?

*laughs too* *and is quietly grateful that you can't see him blushing* I don't think I'll ask just how many flaws you find with the structure.

	From: tuivana	Date: 02/13/2007 15:38:25

*clearly intrigued* Hmm. Synthetic pseudophotosynthesis. I think you've just given me a new project, silly boy.

*playfully* If you won't ask, then I shan't say. Flaws. Ha.

	From: a3ulez	Date: 02/13/2007 15:41:56

Oh, I'm sure you're more than capable of managing another project.

*chuckles again* Agreed.

We really must meet up and discuss a couple of things. I have some theories on--*lowers his voice*--artificial intelligence. I thought I might give those Dwarves another try but don't, for Dad's sake, tell Yavanna.

	From: tuivana	Date: 02/13/2007 15:48:51

artificial intelligence

Are you serious? I've been working on AI for literal ages. We must pool ideas. Are you free for lunch sometime this week?

don't, for Dad's sake, tell Yavanna

Don't worry, Aulë. My lips have been artificially prevented from opening lest I reveal your secret.

	From: a3ulez	Date: 02/13/2007 16:04:49

How about tomorrow? I could probably do with a break before I head back in to the coalface and Yavanna should have forgiven me by then.

My lips have been artificially prevented from opening lest I reveal your secret.

You're a doll, Vána, I appreciate it.

	From: tuivana	Date: 02/13/2007 16:08:44

*smilingly* Perfect. I do hope you're not in too much trouble, though.

You're a doll

*gets that a lot, actually*

*and often from complete strangers who think she has no authentic emotions. it's very odd.*

	From: a3ulez	Date: 02/13/2007 16:11:05

I'm sure I'll survive. If I'm discorporated, Aulendil has instructions to pass on certain theories to you to work on till I can re-embody.

*pauses* That was a joke I think. Anyway. *sighs* I suppose I'll see you tomorrow?

	From: tuivana	Date: 02/13/2007 16:18:12

*momentarily appalled* Oh?

That was a joke

Oh. Of course. I knew that. *nods before remembering you can't see her*

Videophones! It's brilliant!

Tomorrow, yes! Niphredil, at twelve-thirty? I really must run, Aulë, I've just had a fabulous idea. Tell you all about this one later, too.

	From: a3ulez	Date: 02/13/2007 16:24:07

See you there!

*hangs up and looks at the phone for a while*

*sighs, gets his coat and goes home*

	From: yavannapalurien	Date: 02/13/2007 16:30:44

*is lying on the couch, morosely watching bad television, smoking and eating popcorn from a bowl balanced on her stomach*

	From: a3ulez	Date: 02/13/2007 16:32:31

*creeps in, wipes his feet and hangs up his coat*

*comes into the living room* Honey? I'm home.

	From: yavannapalurien	Date: 02/13/2007 16:39:41

*flat-out ignores you*

	From: a3ulez	Date: 02/13/2007 16:41:10

*moves in front of the television and looks at you* Yavanna? Darling? I'm sorry-- I got caught up in work. You know how I get. I'm really sorry that I missed the vegetable lasagna.

	From: yavannapalurien	Date: 02/13/2007 16:43:51

*half-heartedly throws a piece of popcorn at you*

You're blocking the TV.

	From: a3ulez	Date: 02/13/2007 16:49:02

*swats the popcorn away before it hits him*

I don't know why you watch this rubbish. *pleadingly* Come on, Yavanna. Please? I'm really, really sorry. I only got your messages this evening.

	From: yavannapalurien	Date: 02/13/2007 16:51:19

*glares at you* I went to your fucking lab, you know, and that sycophantic assistant of yours told me that you weren't to be disturbed. I'm your fucking wife, Aulë!

	From: a3ulez	Date: 02/13/2007 16:55:07

*tries to be reasonable* It's not like I was completely out of reach, you know. You could have gotten in touch with me this way?

	From: yavannapalurien	Date: 02/13/2007 16:57:05

*gives you a mental push out of her thoughts*

No, I couldn't have! Last time I did that, you singed your eyebrows!

	From: a3ulez	Date: 02/13/2007 16:58:14

*walks towards you and sinks onto his knees in front of you* And you like me with eyebrows attached, don't you?

	From: yavannapalurien	Date: 02/13/2007 17:01:32

*shoves at your shoulder* Stop it.

	From: a3ulez	Date: 02/13/2007 17:04:28

*manfully does not wince even though that hurt quite a lot!*

*chances a tiny smile* Stop what? Apologising? I can't stop until you forgive me, you know.

	From: yavannapalurien	Date: 02/13/2007 17:05:47

*does not smile, does not, does not*

*smiles a tiny bit*

You're a thoughtless, careless bastard, you know.

	From: a3ulez	Date: 02/13/2007 17:06:28

*reaches for your hand and rubs it gently* Bet I'm not as bad as Oromë though, eh?

	From: yavannapalurien	Date: 02/13/2007 17:10:17

*relents a little more* No, I guess not. At least not since you stopped scientific testing on animals.

	From: a3ulez	Date: 02/13/2007 17:12:04

*crawls up on to the couch next to you* Come here. *opens his arms to you*

	From: yavannapalurien	Date: 02/13/2007 17:13:54

*settles into your arms* *whispers against your cheek* You're still a thoughtless bastard, you know.

	From: a3ulez	Date: 02/13/2007 17:16:09

	From: yavannapalurien	Date: 02/13/2007 17:21:26

Yeah. I guess I do.

*snuggles closer and kisses you before resting her head on your chest and closing her eyes*

	From: a3ulez	Date: 02/13/2007 17:23:18

*smiles and wraps his arms around you and drifts off, dreaming about large primes and intricate equations*