*disappears into a closet and emerges wearing trousers* I'm not exactly speaking to him after the stunt he pulled, hiding information from me. Fuck. I should never have come back here.
*sits on the edge of the bed to pull on his socks* Can you believe he actually thought we...? *laughs awkwardly* Whatever.
*has a moment of confusion where he's not sure whether he should look away* *because it would be silly to make a big deal out of it because it's not a big deal because you're Beleg and* *holy god, those are definitely breasts under there and were girls' underthings always that tiny??*
*quickly averts his eyes*
*runs a hand through his hair* Although I guess it may look sort of odd to people. Now that you're a girl and all?
You don't have to tell me, mate. I'm just saying. I hadn't really thought about it before but I am now, boy howdy. *is not feeling the slightest bit twitchy, oh no*
*hugs you gingerly, taking care not to aggravate your injury* *his voice muffled against your hair* I know the past couple days have won you major friend points, but that's really asking a lot, Beleg. The man's insane.
*takes a magazine off your desk and starts leafing through it* Since you're just going to talk, we can both pretend I'm listening. Deal? Just make some sort of hand signal when you're through.
*cocks his head* And have you discussed these plans with--Eru, I can't even call them 'allies' when there's no opposition, can I?--well, have you discussed any of this with your allies? Or Dr. Ron, maybe?
Oh, them. Well, I suppose there's Fingon, and Círdan, and some other people whose names escape me right now...but that's not terribly important. I own all that land, anyway. They're just figureheads.
*sighs heavily* Yes, well, being the Vala whose particular province is warapparently, I really must advise against amassing a large-scale militia without discussing your concerns regarding this nameless, faceless, and in fact nonexistent menaceless menace with your allied authorities. They may see it as a hostile act. *disturbed* Do I really have to explain this to you?
*shrugs* Fair enough. I really have no idea whether my backup recruit has any military training, but that'll have to do. I suppose one must expect numerous horrible casualties in any completely harmless, safeguarded training environment, eh?
*rubs his temples* All right. I've got a counter-proposal for you. I will agree to oversee the training of the poor bastard soldiers and command these pointless military operations. On two conditions.
One: You will effect complete transparency on this issue for the benefit of your allies. In fact, you will meet with them to encourage them to set up self-sufficient, cooperative military bases to work alongside the Doriathrim forces under Valarin high command. I don't want anything to do with those negotiations; I'm a soldier, not a fucking diplomat.
*sharply* There are no Noldor or Sindar anymore. Only men.
*cuts you off* Which brings me to Condition Number Two. I will run the armed forces, which means you will answer to me. You will have no authority in military decision-making unless I give it to you. You will cooperate when I tell you to cooperate and you will shut the hell up when I kick you out of the War Room. I know you're hiding a War Room around here somewhere. ¬_¬
You're right. You don't have to take it. But go behind everyone else's backs to stockpile nukes or whatever it is you're thinking in your paranoid delusions that you're going to do, and I will inter-fucking-fere then, so help me Eru. Do you really want me leading the armies of your enemies instead? Enemies you created?
You don't have a choice here. *laughing in disbelief or complete lack thereof* You're a piece of work, you know that? You can't show a little interest in your own family no matter how batshit crazy?
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