From: gorthol	Date: 03/28/2007 08:28:17

*deems your call a fine excuse to stop almost-shopping for something to wear to the damned party*

*meets you there and takes the seat across from you* You look like shit. *eyes the food already on the table* What, you're ordering for me now?

	From: mablung	Date: 03/28/2007 08:51:35

Long night? *continues guzzling coffee like his life depends on it*

I couldn't decide whether I wanted turkey or meatball. So I got me meatball and you turkey. Are you gonna eat that? *pulls your plate toward him*

	From: gorthol	Date: 03/28/2007 08:54:19

Are you asking me? Well then, I'd bet a lot of money there was nakedness involved. Am I right?

*slaps your hand away* *takes a bite of his sandwich* I'm not paying again. I thought I'd just put that out there right away.

	From: mablung	Date: 03/28/2007 09:07:47

*laughs* You just want to picture me naked. Of course there was nakedness involved.

I esh eer unna haffa runnen. *swallows* 'Cause I sure as shit don't have any money. *leans back in his chair comfortably*

	From: gorthol	Date: 03/28/2007 09:12:59

*sighs* Why do I hang out with you again? Ever?

*gets out his wallet*

	From: mablung	Date: 03/28/2007 09:16:23

*steals one of your fries* Because you luuuuuuv me.

Speaking of which, when are you picking me up for this party? I hope you're planning on bringing me flowers. And not roses. Roses are a fucking cliché.

	From: gorthol	Date: 03/28/2007 09:21:34

Ugh. Don't remind me. I have to find a suit before Fin realizes I'm looking and drags me out to every tailor in Erudom.

I don't suppose you want to take her, do you?

	From: mablung	Date: 03/28/2007 09:23:02

Can't you just...I dunno...materialize a suit or something?

*starts on the second half of your sandwich* To your engagement party? That would go over well. No thanks, bro. I want to take Nienor.

	From: gorthol	Date: 03/28/2007 09:26:45

*looks annoyed* I can't very well do anything with you fuckers asking me to do tricks all the time. Talk about fucking performance anxiety.

*pensively* I was thinking about taking her just to piss off—wait, what?! That's not funny.

	From: mablung	Date: 03/28/2007 09:28:09

*smoothly* I wasn't joking. How is she, anyway?

	From: gorthol	Date: 03/28/2007 09:31:08

*gives up on trying to reclaim his lunch*

She's day-to-day. *warningly* Not that it's any of your business.

	From: mablung	Date: 03/28/2007 09:34:03

*shrugs* We're all day-to-day.

*lightly* But seriously. What's the problem here? I'm not seeing a problem. I like her, she likes...Super Moria Brothers...? And macramé? And fucking?

	From: gorthol	Date: 03/28/2007 09:55:57

*pushes his chair back from the table and crosses his arms*

*incredulously* The problem?? The problem is YOU, Mablung. You're a good friend but you treat women like shit. Do I really need to tell you this? Did you honestly think your fuck-'em-and-chuck-'em policy was likely to fly with me? She's my little sister, for Eru's sake.

Oh, yeah. She's my little sister and she's CRAZY.

	From: mablung	Date: 03/28/2007 09:58:37

*eyeroll* Excuse me for my base and promiscuous ways, O Exalted One. Did you ever consider that maybe she'd enjoy it?

*pretty testily (for him, anyway)* Besides, if anyone's doing the leaving these days, it's her, not me.

	From: gorthol	Date: 03/28/2007 10:01:11

*has no plans whatsoever to consider that in any way, shape, or form, thank you very much*

Did you ever consider that she's CRAZY?

if anyone's doing the leaving these days, it's her




What the Mandos is that supposed to mean?

	From: mablung	Date: 03/28/2007 10:05:15

*thinks "uh, no, not really" may not be the very best possible response to your first question*

*thus will ignore it entirely!*

What the Mandos is that supposed to mean?

Oooooohshitfuck.

*far too quickly* Nothing. It doesn't mean anything. *stands* *comes around the table and puts a hand on your shoulder* Whaddya say we go get a pint and chill out, mate?

	From: gorthol	Date: 03/28/2007 10:07:11

*stands too*

I SAID. What. The Mandos—

You fucking fucked her, didn't you?

	From: mablung	Date: 03/28/2007 10:09:19

*looks left and right*

It's not what you think. *wonders if mentioning that Nienor jumped him would help his case at all*

*...*

She totally jumped me?

	From: gorthol	Date: 03/28/2007 10:12:00

*evenly, with considerable effort* I don't care if she chained you to the bed.

But this was a lifetime ago, right? First Age? While I was in Nargothrond?

	From: mablung	Date: 03/28/2007 10:14:49

Park bench, actually.

This was a lifetime ago, right?

LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE

*weakly* Um...then too, I guess...

	From: gorthol	Date: 03/28/2007 10:15:50

*punches you in the face*

	From: mablung	Date: 03/28/2007 10:20:13

*stumbles backward and feels part of his face give way in an explosion of pain*

*is dimly aware that his nose is now gushing blood*

ffffuuuUUUUUCKKKK! YOU BROKE BY FUCKIG DOSE! *spits out a tooth* PULL A FUCKIG PUDCH, YEAH?

	From: gorthol	Date: 03/28/2007 10:25:32

*clearly has got to get his mind around this whole superhuman strength thing*

You deserved it, asshole. *lividly* Fucking a crazy girl? You piece of shit.

I'm so fucking understanding I'll even take you to a doctor. How do you like that?

	From: mablung	Date: 03/28/2007 10:27:53

*looks contrite for about two seconds*

*picks up a chair and swings it around to bash you in the side in one swift movement*

	From: gorthol	Date: 03/28/2007 10:29:30

*staggers and clutches at a counter to keep his balance, his ribs shrieking*

*exhales with difficulty* *glaring daggers* You do not want to go here, Mablung.

	From: mablung	Date: 03/28/2007 10:31:32

*lunges at you and tackles you to the ground*

*thinks it's so considerate of the other patrons to make room for them*

	From: gorthol	Date: 03/28/2007 10:36:38

*hits the back of his head on the floor hard enough to see stars*

*twists one leg around yours and pushes hard against your shoulder, managing to roll you over before very long*

*pins your chest with one knee, putting all his weight on you* Stop fighting me, you idiot!

	From: mablung	Date: 03/28/2007 10:39:26

*laughing maniacally through mouthfuls of blood* HAD ENOUGH, EH??

*flails but can't throw you off*

*settles for punching you as hard as he can in the same spot he hit you with the chair*

	From: gorthol	Date: 03/28/2007 10:42:26

*yelps in pain*

*backhands you across the face*

*grabs your wrist and twists your arm to an angle quiet, well-behaved arms were never meant to experience*

	From: mablung	Date: 03/28/2007 10:46:17

ow ow ow ow OW UNCLE! UUUUNCLLLLLE!

*repeatedly attempts to kick you but is still infuriatingly unable to move much beneath you*

*reaches out a groping hand for anything that may be lying around*

*comes up with a fork that has fallen off somebody's table*

*rakes it down the side of your face, opening ugly gashes in your cheek*

	From: gorthol	Date: 03/28/2007 10:58:28

*grinds his teeth and tries to ignore the sudden, searing pain in his face*

*locks his hands around your throat and squeezes, his blood raining down on you*

	From: mablung	Date: 03/28/2007 10:59:07

*chokes and gasps and scrabbles at your hands*

*decides through the haze of pain and blurring vision that you probably aren't trying very hard and are at least as likely to kill him by accident as you are to do it deliberately*

*goes limp*

	From: gorthol	Date: 03/28/2007 10:59:49

*lets go immediately*

*climbs off you and gets to his feet slowly*

*presses a hand to his ribs experimentally and hisses*

*sees you open one eye and then quickly close it again*

*pulls you to your feet and wraps your arm around his shoulders to support you*

Jackass.

	From: mablung	Date: 03/28/2007 11:02:19

*sways* Gerroff. *leans against you heavily*

Dickhead.

*staggers in the general direction of the hospital*

	From: elrondmd	Date: 03/28/2007 11:03:37

*is working the ER when you two come in*

Well, well. What happened here?

	From: mablung	Date: 03/28/2007 11:04:13

*glances at Túrin*

Orcs.

	From: gorthol	Date: 03/28/2007 11:04:56

*glances at Mablung*

Orcs.

	From: elrondmd	Date: 03/28/2007 11:24:26

*eyeroll*