From: ingoldo	Date: 03/29/2007 07:59:13

*drops by to pay you a visit, having found out where you live from Findaráto*

*knocks out a rhythm on your door*

	From: ivrinsun	Date: 03/29/2007 08:03:24

*does not particularly feel like getting up, thank you*

*waits until she hears a second knock before wrapping her blanket around her shoulders and trudging to the door just in case, by some miracle, you're Túrin and have come to tell her all is forgiven*

*opens the door*

*bursts into tears*

	From: ingoldo	Date: 03/29/2007 08:07:10

*stares*

*quickly switches to grandfatherly damage-control mode*

*hugs you* There, there. What's the matter, Finduilas? *rubs your back soothingly* It can't be all that bad.

*walks inside with you* Let's just sit down, okay? Then you can tell me about it. *takes a tissue from a box on an end table and dries your tears*

	From: ivrinsun	Date: 03/29/2007 08:10:38

*snuggles close to you, sobbing*

I'm *sniffle* a tErRiBle *hic* pERsoNNNnnnnn!

	From: ingoldo	Date: 03/29/2007 08:14:34

*makes a sound of protest* Hey now. No granddaughter of mine could be a terrible person. I know it seems like the end of the world today, but once you put a little distance between you and the problem, things will seem brighter. I promise.

*smoothes your hair gently* We've all made mistakes, yes? Some of them very grievous ones. The important thing is that you recognize them and want to make amends. Now. What happened?

	From: ivrinsun	Date: 03/29/2007 08:16:36

*reaches for another couple tissues*

*blows her nose noisily* I told my boyfriend I was pregnant when I wasn't. *waveringly* And now he...hates. me.

	From: ingoldo	Date: 03/29/2007 08:18:32

*looks down on the top of your head with an expression of "wtf?"*

You're a terrible person. I see. And what made you say such a thing? There must have been a reason...?

	From: ivrinsun	Date: 03/29/2007 08:20:54

*shrugs rather listlessly* We were arguing about something and then I just blurted it out. And then didn't know how to take it back without making things even worse. *quietly* He may have been trying to break up with me at the time.

	From: ingoldo	Date: 03/29/2007 08:23:43

*is silent for a moment while he processes this*

*tries to rationalize this in some way without actually advocating more lying* But...could it be you thought you were pregnant at the time? And it just turned out you were mistaken? Throw me a bone here.

	From: ivrinsun	Date: 03/29/2007 08:29:08

*more sniffling* No. I didn't. I was so afraid of losing him. And then he proposed—he's sweet that way—and all I could think was I won't lose him ever and I was just so happy but then it all went so far I didn't mean it to go so far, really I didn't, and before I knew it we were at our engagement party and his parents were so kind sort of and they had caviar and everyone looked so lovely and I think one of those ice sculptures cost more than my entire wardrobe and. *sob!*

	From: ingoldo	Date: 03/29/2007 08:32:48

*nods patiently through this*

*recalls reading an item about the party in the paper, though of course he doesn't exactly go in for such displays of excess*

*weakly* But you did tell him the truth. If he's as honorable as you describe him, that's got to count for something, right?

	From: ivrinsun	Date: 03/29/2007 08:38:05

*shrugs again* I did tell him. After I made the mistake of confiding in his best friend, she pushed me into it.

*angrily* She may have been right to do it but she was so fucking smug about it I can't stand it. What business of hers is any of it? She thinks just because she knew him once... *trails off and sighs sadly*

	From: ingoldo	Date: 03/29/2007 08:41:15

*takes your hand in both of his and pats it lightly*

I'm sure she was just doing what she thought she had to to protect him. That's what best friends do. *carefully* And I daresay you made it her business when you gave her information she felt her friend had a right to know.

	From: ivrinsun	Date: 03/29/2007 08:45:37

*having more or less calmed down by now* I know. I know all of it. But that doesn't make me despise her less things easier, you know? I should have done things differently. But at the time, every choice seemed wrong. It's a poor excuse, I know.

*gets up and wanders into the kitchen to make tea*

	From: ingoldo	Date: 03/29/2007 08:52:11

*follows you in*

You're still not a terrible person, Fin. Your remorse proves that. All you can do now is try as you can to see that he knows you're sorry. And hopefully someday he'll forgive you.

	From: ivrinsun	Date: 03/29/2007 08:55:52

someday

*feels fresh tears springing to her eyes* *wipes them away hastily, trying not to think of the countless times she's picked up the phone only to give up, knowing Túrin won't even speak to her*

And what do I do until someday?

*watches the water boil*

	From: ingoldo	Date: 03/29/2007 08:58:53

*helps you ready the tea things*

*simply* You move on. There are plenty of fish in the sea. You have so much to offer, Finduilas, when you're not lying and manipulating, I mean. So much love to give.

*looks around at your tasteful decor and rich furnishings* *takes a stab in the dark* And you have your career...? Throw yourself into your work for a while.

	From: ivrinsun	Date: 03/29/2007 09:02:12

There are plenty of fish in the sea.

*rueful smile* Not like my fish.

Throw yourself into your work

*gapes at you, the water she's pouring overflowing her cup* Shit. My career?? *actually laughs* Do you have any idea what I used to do for a living?

	From: ingoldo	Date: 03/29/2007 09:03:18

*shakes his head once to each side, questioningly*

	From: ivrinsun	Date: 03/29/2007 09:04:29

*perversely enjoying the words* I fuck men for money.

	From: ingoldo	Date: 03/29/2007 09:05:39

 

	From: ivrinsun	Date: 03/29/2007 09:06:57

*calmly hands you a cup of tea and retreats back to the living room*

Do you still think I'm a good person?

	From: ingoldo	Date: 03/29/2007 09:09:22

*joins you, sitting primly on the edge of his seat*

*squeaks* Wh— *clears his throat* Why do you do it?

	From: ivrinsun	Date: 03/29/2007 09:10:52

*dryly* Because I like nice things? And because I need to be needed?

	From: ingoldo	Date: 03/29/2007 09:13:25

*folds his hands neatly* I think you need to be needed.

There are healthier ways to work through those feelings, Finduilas.

	From: ivrinsun	Date: 03/29/2007 09:16:24

*startled* Maybe. And maybe.

*without malice* We're not all so well-adjusted as you, Grandfather.

	From: ingoldo	Date: 03/29/2007 09:18:59

*smiles faintly* I'm not so perfect, dear. I've just lived a very, very long time. I may have picked up a pearl or two along the way.

*sets his cup down and goes to get his coat* *contemplatively* And I love my family and care for your welfare.

	From: ivrinsun	Date: 03/29/2007 09:21:41

*walks you to the door*

*softly* I feel a little better. *gently smiling* A very little.

	From: ingoldo	Date: 03/29/2007 09:24:56

You're welcome.

*kisses your forehead* And yes. You are a good person.

*leaves*