From: atarince	Date: 09/26/2007 17:19:11

*comes up sometime in the early afternoon (so, just after he's gotten out of bed)* *wanders into your bedroom* Turco? Turco, where are you? You can't still be in the damn bathroom! It's -- it's two o'clock! C'mon, c'mon, let's go out! I only got a few good half-hours a day in me 'fore I get totally exhausted and you're waaasting them!

	From: tyelcormo	Date: 09/26/2007 17:24:03

*backs up against the door*

*panicking* NO THAT'S QUITE ALL RIGHT YOU GO AHEAD I THINK I'LL JUST STAY IN HERE FOREVER A WHILE and would you mind bringing me my gun!!

	From: atarince	Date: 09/26/2007 17:28:23

*raps his knuckles lightly on the door*

You okay, man? Do you've a cold or something? Your voice sounds fucking weird.

	From: tyelcormo	Date: 09/26/2007 17:34:28

*wailing* No I'm not okay! I'm...I'm...the ANTI-OKAY! MORGOTH OVERDOSED ON EVIL AND WOKE UP IN A POOL OF ME!

	From: atarince	Date: 09/26/2007 17:44:04

is pretty damned concerned now* What do you mean? Turco? What's happened? Did you forget to moisturise? I know how you are when you forget your skincare regime.

	From: tyelcormo	Date: 09/26/2007 17:49:18

*calming down somewhat (with a great deal of effort)* What's happened is that I've met the face of Wrongness and her name is Vendórë. Since when are Valar so damned touchy?

	From: atarince	Date: 09/26/2007 18:05:29

*frowns* Vendórë? I thought she was supposed to be all nice and pink and hearts and roses? What'd you do?

	From: tyelcormo	Date: 09/26/2007 18:20:34

I did nothing. She appeared out of nowhere and started blathering on about virtue or morality or goodwill or something. *mimicking* "Oh, Turco, you cruel, cruel man!" You know how it is.

And then she...she— *breaks off* Well, I'm never coming out. Just put me out of my bloody misery.

	From: atarince	Date: 09/27/2007 16:32:36

*sighs* C'mon now, mate. Why don't you come out so we can talk about it face-to-face? What has she done?

*in a wheedling tone* You can tell me and I swear we'll figure something out. Our family's excellent at defying Valar, after all.

	From: tyelcormo	Date: 09/27/2007 16:35:43

*spends a long time thinking over his options*

*decides death by starvation probably isn't the most pleasant way to go* *(and may take awhile, by the looks of him)*

*barely audibly* ...Is there anyone else about?

	From: atarince	Date: 09/27/2007 16:40:17

*frowns* What? No. Moryo went to the university dressed in a suit and I've no idea where Rach-- Arak-- the cousin's gone.

	From: tyelcormo	Date: 09/27/2007 16:42:02

*sighs*

*opens the door*

	From: atarince	Date: 09/27/2007 16:48:40

*jumps* What the fuck? *takes a step backwards while simultaneously trying to look past you into the bathroom* Turco? Why were you in here with the ugliest man on the planet -- some guy?

	From: tyelcormo	Date: 09/27/2007 16:55:48

*facepalm* It is me, Curvo!

*steps out past you and paces his bedroom* *miserably* Hilarious joke, don't you agree? Just spectacular.

	From: atarince	Date: 09/27/2007 17:00:27

*blurts out* But -- but -- but --

*goes into the bathroom and looks around to convince himself that you're not secretly hiding in the bathtub or something*

*comes back out and stares at you* But -- but -- but --

	From: tyelcormo	Date: 09/27/2007 17:09:32

*can't exactly blame you for the sudden disappearance of most of your vocabulary*

*looks around his flawless room* *mostly to himself* Well, I can't remain living here, can I? It's a crime.

	From: atarince	Date: 09/27/2007 17:14:27

But -- but -- but --

*shakes his head and continues to stare* Eru, Turco, you're hideous. Did you, like, insult Vendórë or kill her favourite puppy or something?

	From: tyelcormo	Date: 09/27/2007 17:20:39

kill her favourite puppy

*looks scandalized* I'll be more than happy to kill her children if she's got any, though. Disembody. Whatever. I told you. This was apparently about me "going out of my way to cause hurt to others". Does she do this to everyone? *has a sudden thought* It might explain why everyone else is so generally unappealing.

*snaps his stubby fingers with their filthy, yellowed nails* *a bit desperately* Call Káni. She'll know what to do.

	From: atarince	Date: 09/27/2007 18:04:30

*blankly* Káni? Why will she know what to do other than point and laugh?

*has a sudden, terrible thought* It's not -- permanent -- is it?

	From: tyelcormo	Date: 09/27/2007 18:09:20

Because... *can't answer that question with anything like logic, of course* ...she fixes things? She's pretty good at it?

It's not -- permanent -- is it?

*grimly* I have a gun. I'm not afraid to use it. Aesthetically speaking, it'd be quite an improvement. *bReAThEs*

	From: atarince	Date: 09/27/2007 18:32:19

Can she fix Vala-stuff?

*rubs his eyes with his hands* *sees that you still look the exact same* *speculatively* What about plastic surgery?

	From: tyelcormo	Date: 09/27/2007 18:37:51

*tries to sound confident* She can fix anything whenshe'sirritatedenough. She's also considerably smarter than the two of us put together so that can't be a bad thing?

*walks over to a bookshelf and picks up a framed photo of you and him* *looks longingly at himself for a second*

*hands the photo to you and gestures to himself* This. To that. Are we talking plastic surgery à la Eru, by any chance?!

	From: atarince	Date: 09/27/2007 18:46:50

*hesitantly* She won't be on Vendórë's side, will she? I mean? Being a girl and all? *sighs and takes his cellphone out of his pocket* What's her number?

*glances at the picture* *winces*

	From: tyelcormo	Date: 09/27/2007 18:51:57

No. She won't. *reels off Argon's number* ...She'd better not be. *confusedly* What's being female have to do with it?

*doesn't actually look at the picture again* *would consider crying real human tears if his mun hadn't deleted that icon TO MAKE ROOM FOR MELKOR'S LAST LAUGH*

	From: atarince	Date: 09/27/2007 19:04:21

*dials Argon's number as he talks to you* Oh, you know. They, like, care more and stuff?

	From: arakano	Date: 09/27/2007 19:11:22

*picks up after the third ring, marking her place in her textbook and noting the unfamiliar number on the caller ID*

If you're trying to reach the pizza place, it's seven-nine, not seven-eight. I've got to get a new number.

	From: atarince	Date: 09/27/2007 19:15:05

Aw, man, you mean you're not the chick with the twelve-inch pepperoni?

*brightly* Arakáno. Curufinwë here. You busy?

	From: arakano	Date: 09/27/2007 19:18:36

Curufinwë here.

*groans*

You busy?

Very. And whatever it is you're about to ask, the answer's no, and I'm not speaking to him.

	From: atarince	Date: 09/27/2007 19:30:42

Eru, but you're a bit of a hard-ass, aren't you?

*amiably enough* So you don't have time to help out Turco even though he's threatening to kill himself and he's been punished by a Valië for something or other? Did you know that Vendórë was so sensitive?

	From: arakano	Date: 09/27/2007 19:34:59

*skims another paragraph, half-listening* Kill who now? Him? *snorts* That's a new one. What, and deprive the world of all that spoiled pretty boy? WOE.

Did you know that Vendórë was so sensitive?

Punished? *stops tapping her highlighter* You're not making any sense, Curvo. Not really a huge departure from the norm, but hey.

	From: arakano	Date: 10/01/2007 06:55:32

*shows up about an hour after finishing her conversation with Curvo*

*drops her keys on the hall table* Hellooo-ooo. I'm only here because I forgot my lipstick. *wanders into the living room, thinking it seems oddly quiet like a tomb in the house*

*calling* HELLO? ... IT'S MY FAVORITE LIPSTICK. ...

	From: tyelcormo	Date: 10/01/2007 07:46:56

*comes into the room after you*

*briskly* It's about time you got here.

	From: arakano	Date: 10/01/2007 07:57:32

*jumps, startled* *turns around and gives an inadvertent little yelp at the sight of you* Wow, that was rude.

*suspiciously* Who or what are you? *looks past you into the hall* Where is everybody and does Turco know you're breathing his air?

	From: tyelcormo	Date: 10/01/2007 08:04:58

I had Curvo send them all home before they could see me. *glances down at himself* Well, Nina got the clothes first.

*takes in your blank look* *exasperatedly* It's me, Káni. *has a sudden thought* Midwinter's eve, two years ago. Remember?

	From: arakano	Date: 10/01/2007 08:08:26

Midwinter's eve, two years ago. Remember?

*turns white as a sheet* How do you...? *growing more perturbed by the second* We said we wouldn't— Oh Eru are you a cop? How do you know my name??

*backs a step away from you*

	From: tyelcormo	Date: 10/01/2007 08:11:39

*facepalm!* We're not talking about it. I'm referencing it so you know who I am, for Eru's sake. Do you really think I'd let anyone else find out about that mess?

	From: arakano	Date: 10/01/2007 08:15:17

Do you really think I'd let anyone else find out about that mess?

*shaking her head* No, of course not, there's no chance...

punished by a Valië

*finally reaches the only possibly conclusion* ...Turco??




*bursts into gales of laughter*

	From: tyelcormo	Date: 10/01/2007 08:21:16

*scowling* When you've quite finished?

*grudgingly admits to himself that he'd laugh his ass off, too, if their positions were reserved*

	From: arakano	Date: 10/01/2007 08:30:17

But you—! you're—! *collapses into a chair and positively howls with mirth*

*clutches her sides when they start to ache* —ugliest ahahaha fucker I— *looks up at you now and then and bursts into a fresh torrent of giggles* —ohmyeru AHAHAHAHA! *snickersnort*

*eventually takes a deep breath and wipes tears out of her eyes* So. *claps her hand over her mouth to stifle a new attack* Whose heart did you break then? *summons the courage to look at you again* *lip-twitch*

	From: tyelcormo	Date: 10/01/2007 08:32:28

*studiously ignores you while he paces the room* *is careful not to touch anything lest it get infected*

Whose heart did you break then?

*stops to hear this* You think that's what this is about?

	From: arakano	Date: 10/01/2007 08:43:30

*shrugs* Beats me. *giggle* She's the one all nice and pink and hearts and roses, right? Sappy cards and chocolates?

*studies you with a scientific eye* *musingly* Painting the surface to match the ugly, ugly soul inside. We're talking really ugly here, by the way. Man. She's got style. *coughsnicker*

	From: tyelcormo	Date: 10/01/2007 08:48:14

Thank you ever so much. You're so spectacularly helpful.

*forlornly* My soul doesn't look like this. My soul has perfect skin and a thirty-two inch waist. Also, a toothbrush.

	From: arakano	Date: 10/01/2007 08:52:25

*can't help pitying you just that little bit* *(pity can be smug, right?)*

*hops up out of her chair* Okay. *slaps you on the back companionably* *wipes her hand on her jeans* Get your coat. This is me being helpful.

	From: tyelcormo	Date: 10/01/2007 09:00:33

*follows you out of the house and down to the driveway* *skeptically* Where are we going?

*blinks as you open what appears to be a door on one side of the hunk of metal sitting in the drive* *sniffs* You can't possibly expect me to ride in that thing. It's apt to regurgitate the whole engine in my lap. ...Does it have an engine?

	From: arakano	Date: 10/01/2007 09:13:22

Listen to you. *lifts her nose in the air* *effecting a scornful tone* No no no, this will never do, darling. It's the Rolls or death, darling.

*cheerfully* Get in the damn car so I can return it to my lab partner before the smell settles in, will you? We'll do the apartment-hunting on foot. I assume you don't want to sully your precious home with your own revolting self, yes?

*gets in the car and manages to open your door with a well-placed kick to the corner* Your chariot, my lord.

	From: tyelcormo	Date: 10/01/2007 09:23:50

*spends the five-minute right into town in fear for his life sullen silence*

*soon finds himself standing on a bustling sidewalk somewhere near the university, waiting for you to buy a paper from a newsstand*

*watches people as they scurry past* Did you see that? That woman didn't even look at me!

	From: arakano	Date: 10/01/2007 09:30:38

*stops skimming through the classifieds long enough to glance up* Oh, she looked, all right. Welcome to real life. *patronisingly* Let this be a learning experience for you.

*coming upon a listing* Here. How about this one? Chestnut Ridge, on Twelfth.

	From: tyelcormo	Date: 10/01/2007 09:46:39

*in a small voice* But...doesn't anyone want to take my picture?

Chestnut Ridge, on Twelfth.

*grumbling* I know that building. Too nice. *spots a panhandler and strides over to him purposefully* Excuse me, peasant. Can you tell me—? *breaks off in mute horror as the panhandler drops some spare change into his half-outstretched hand with a pitying look*

*...*

	From: arakano	Date: 10/01/2007 09:58:47

*almost seriously* "Too nice"? Come on, Turco. I could never forgive myself if I let you live out your curse...thing...in utter squalor. *considering* Or for three days or so. For three days, I could never forgive myself.

*watches this exchange and hides behind her newspaper to dissolve into giggles again* Hurts not to be pretty, doesn't it?

	From: tyelcormo	Date: 10/01/2007 10:04:25

Turco

*frantically motions for you to keep your voice down* Tell the world, why don't you?!

Hurts not to be pretty, doesn't it?

My god YES. *irritably* Oh, like you'd know.

	From: arakano	Date: 10/01/2007 10:08:15

*tears several listings out of the paper and hands them to you*

Oh, like you'd know.

*genuinely puzzled* Wait. Was that an actual compliment?

	From: tyelcormo	Date: 10/01/2007 10:09:56

*looking every bit as confused* No. Well. A backhanded one, perhaps.

	From: arakano	Date: 10/01/2007 10:11:40

*brightly* Awww. Score one for you, then. Or a half or something.

	From: tyelcormo	Date: 10/01/2007 10:12:53

*pores over your findings*

You were joking about the smell, right?

	From: arakano	Date: 10/01/2007 10:14:09

Don't count on it.